The Call

The next day I received a call. It’s not often that someone calls my landline. Only a few people actually have this number – not including telemarketers. This is the main reason I have an answering machine. Everyone thinks it’s crazy, but just three years ago I dropped most modern mobile telecommunication from my life. I use a flip phone with basic SMS. I also got fired from my day-job and stopped using personal email.  

I know, it sounds extreme, but I had…have…my reasons. Or so I believe.

Like all the unknown numbers, I let this one ring to the answering machine. I actually took pleasure in this moment. My prompt was fairly succinct and usually caught people off guard. Just having an answering machine was antiquated – fertile ground for awkward moments – and this is where I get most of my amateur material for Ludlow anyway.

“You’ve reached Sam Noble – I’m not around at the moment, but maybe if you have something good to say I will pick up the phone or call you back.”

The voice was delicate, female.

“Yes, hello, Mr. Noble. My name is Q. Are you there?”

There was a pause of several seconds, but the caller was still on the line, waiting. Now I was the one  surprised – only my mother did this.

“I guess not,” the delicate voice said. I started towards the phone but something stopped me. The voice continued. “I left my card for you the other day on Ludlow Street. Did you receive this?”

Another moment of silence passed. “Well, I would be interested to speak with you about an opportunity. I guess I will try to call you again, as I cannot leave a phone number.”

I picked up the phone. “Hello,” I said, pretending to be out of breath. “This is Sam. Sorry about that, I was running on the treadmill.”

There was a slight pause, as I continued my pretense of breathing heavily.  “I did receive your card.” 

“Oh great. I would be delighted to meet you in person.” If possible, her voice was both fragile and firm. It hardly wavered in pitch.  “I have an office space downtown and would like to learn more about you. I know this might come off as a strange request.”

I caught my fake breath. “Are you an agent?” I asked. 

She seemed confused. “An agent?” 

“Okay, I guess not,” I said, surprised at how disappointed I was. “So you just want to meet?”

“Yes. And talk.”

“Talk about what?” I asked.

There was a slight pause.

“Human connections.”

Now it was time for me to feel awkward. “Human connections?” I repeated, remembering only now what was written on the rigid, white business card. 

“Yes. I will explain everything in person, but after your show last week I felt that I could learn something from you about this.” There was a slight pause and she continued. “Humor is an important aspect of life.”

I didn’t really know what to say. It was like speaking to the Queen, or Miss America. She was so proper.

“Yes, it is,” I replied, matching her serious tone. “People don’t laugh enough in life. It is the flower of joy. And joy is the seed planted in all our hearts.” I had no idea where this came from. I think I read it in a fortune cookie, but it seemed right and I found myself wanting to say this.

There was a thoughtful pause, and the delicate voice replied firmly. “Thank you Mr. Noble. I won’t take any more of your time, but here is my address.” 

I jotted it down. 

“I am free tomorrow, or any day this week at 9am. We have already  given you clearance for the entire week, so if you choose, you may just show up.”

I hung up the receiver and pulled up the map on my desktop computer. There was no doubt that I would go. It would be worth it for the view alone.